Its been over 3 weeks since I last wrote on here. I have been meaning to write but never gotten round to it. I wont lie I have found the last few weeks very challenging, there have been many emotional outbursts that only my hubby has witnessed. I still feel a sense of loss and sadness about the embryos that where lost. There are days I wake up and feel anxious as I remember where I am in my life, in my journey to be a mother. Patience is tested, along with my faith and I fight the battle of doubts and fears, which often come in to my mind. The one thing I do know is that I love God, I believe in his love and power in my life. So as much as my soul can waiver my spirit is filled with the love of God. All I have to do is keep reminding myself that I am not alone. His light far outshines the darkness. I have made more of a conscious habit to meditate on his word. I find that I must start my day this way or my day tends to go off in the wrong direction and then my emotions take over.
Thats the beauty of faith, you don’t need masses of it, you just have to believe… my hope makes me hang on to my dreams, and I allow myself to renew my mind with love and beautiful promises.
One of the promises of God that I mediate on daily is that he gives me his peace. God knows how much we need peace of mind. I don’t have to ask him for it, as he has given it to me, my spirit at one with his. I draw on that promise and it helps me enjoy my day, remain thankful, and know that I am blessed.