Unstoppable…

 

Unstoppable by Beau Taplin

Unstoppable by Beau Taplin

This quote came up on @missconceptioncoach ‘s Instagram feed last week when I found out that my Frozen Embryo transfer had failed.  Seemed so fitting and I have told myself everyday that I am never going to stop believing… that we will get there…

Its not easy writing having been so hopeful that this time after all the procedures and investigations, that my precious embies would stay with me.

Those of you who are familiar will know that day when you are finally ready to have them back inside you, your bladder full for the transfer, waiting for the embryologist and doctor to tell you the news that you wanted.. they thawed out safely, still perfectly in tact.  My heart leapt with joy and I cried tears of relief and happiness.

Hubby and I where left to cosy up and nest while my body and embies became one.  I fell in love again.  How can you not? when all you ever long for is a family of your own, that desire to be a mother and know that you are pregnant, something that seems so easy for many to attain, is my battle…

Sadly it was not to be.  I have not cried so much in ages and seeing my husband break down too in sadness just added to my pain. Even now as I write this part of me is in disbelief that they did not stay with me. I wish I had happy news to share.

What I can share is that my love and faith still took me to God. My conversation with him was that I love and trust him.  That even though I cant understand why it was not to be this time, that I know that he loves me, and I know that he heard my prayer the first time round when I asked him to fulfil my hearts desire to be a mother, and that his timing is always right.

Even though this feels hard, I still have that inner peace, that love always sees me through.. I have not lost hope, my faith makes me Believe… and like the quote by Beau Taplin says

“I am unstoppable… ”