2015 The Journey Continues…

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I have not written in ages, and felt that it was time to update and share where I am at in this journey and what has been going on.

Firstly the picture I have posted was taken by the wonderful photographer Sarah Monrose, we where shooting for a jewellery brand called Rivaalka. At the time this was taken I had just had my frozen embryo transfer and was waiting patiently for my two precious embryos to stick, to stay with me… I always feel the most beautiful and peaceful when that life of D and I together is in me. During that shoot in my spirit and thoughts where focused on them, on the dream, on love. I kept believing was knowing in my heart that I am a mother.

For those of you who know this journey you know what it is like to lose them, you know my pain and heartache. Each time I  had to say goodbye and know that they are with God.

Hubby and I decided that we would take a break from fertility treatment after that lsat round, I wanted to enjoy some time that was free from meds, and hormones, and the horrid progesterone needles!! We could have sometime to try naturally and enjoy ourselves and each other again.

December turned out to be an amazing month, I saw my beautiful little sister get married. The wedding was the most beautiful and enjoyable wedding I have ever been to! Then my entire family (that means everyone! aunties, uncles, cousins,babies and best friends)  travelled to Sri Lanka for xmas and New year. Hubby and I had one of the best holidays ever. So grateful for it, the memories I will treasure forever.

So here we are and 2015 is underway! The time off treatment has been good for us. Hubby as always is my rock, and the one who comforts me and encourages me to never stop believing. I have focused on getting fit again, and the last 5 weeks I have trained hard, pushed myself and achieved the goals I set in fitness. The bonus of fitness is that a healthy mindset also is nurtured, you need the balance, I need that balance!!

Of course my mind never stops thinking about having babies, and after this much needed break we have decided to get back into treatment. This week I had a consultation with my doctor and we made a plan. I am excited and feeling positive.  We have 2 frozen embryos still waiting. Injections will be starting soon, if my womb is ready we will continue on an artificial cycle like last time. If my doctor sees any problems with Adenomyosis and Endometriosis I will be booked in for further surgery before proceeding with the transfer.

Right now I am taking my time to keep my mind right, in line with my heart, and the promises of God in which I believe in.  I have a big birthday coming up, and I feel like I am finally settling into my true self, that God is guiding me into my true purpose. I will be a mother. With god there is always a way. He completes me.

I will always stay believing…

Work, Rest and Play

My model career is something I am very grateful for, being a commercial model, means my  work is never hard, sometimes I have to work very long hours, or I may be away from home and family for a while if I am booked on a job abroad.

Most people have an impression that modelling is very glamorous, that we are stuck up or that we are leading the ‘America’s Next Top Model’ kinda life!!  I can confirm that modelling is far from glamorous!! Waking up at 6am after 4 hrs sleep, having worked 10 plus hours the day before, for live QVC shows.  Working 15 hr bookings, or shooting clothing catalogues outdoors in the winter but in summer clothing. Having your make up taken on and off repeatedly in the same day (a very sore face!),  smiling so much, again a sore face!, and being so tired that you are nodding off live on air!! Endless castings, often with very random and strange auditions requests… the list goes on!!

What I have experienced in my 22 years of modelling has made me the furthest thing from being stuck up! I am very humbled and blessed to have my model/actress life. It has given me me finical independence. At the age of 17 I paid my own way through art college, studying at the amazing Central St Martins College of art and design to attain a degree in Interior Architecture. I have travelled the world, seen beautiful places, and experienced many wonderful cultures. Have had the most amazing experiences on shoots, met wonderful and talented people in this industry.  Every job is unique and never boring!

I have grown in confidence as a woman. I have learned to accept my self, to not be discouraged or feel insecure. Every job that I book is a blessing and for that I am always thankful.

It takes a team to make a job happen and everyone deserves the same respect and kindness, from the runners and makeup artist’s assistants to the head honcho!!

We all have lives beyond what the camera shoots and captures… There is a story behind every face!

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