Where do I start? I have so much to say… The two week wait is over. I had 2 embryos transferred back to me on the 26th April and 4 healthy embryos frozen. Having my fertilised embryos given back to me was probably the happiest I have felt on this journey.
Every day I have thanked god and told him I know he has me as a mother in his plan for my life. Sadly 12 days into my two week wait I started to bleed heavily. Was told by my nurse I had to continue with my progesterone and take the pregnancy test on the date I was instructed to. My heart new I had not held on to my precious embies, I have cried so much for them, but I know now for sure that they have gone, my test result is negative. This time round it was not meant to be.
I can honestly say that through the tears I am still thanking my god, and I have not lost hope. I know I will be a mother. IVF is emotionally and physically draining. My heart always goes out to all those women out there going through this too. We are warriors ladies, don’t give up! I have not….
My doctor noticed something during my transfer which no one had noticed through all my extensive fertility investigations and endometriosis treatment. He sat me and hubby down after the transfer to discuss what he had seen (my womb looked heart shaped, a normal womb is shaped like an upside down pear) and how he felt that it was effecting me getting pregnant and that he hoped this round would work, but if it did not he wanted to see me to and book me in to have an operation to correct the shape of my womb. I guess I walked away wanting to believe that this first time round of IVF would work. Now that I know it did not work, I have even more hope and faith that all I need now is this corrective surgery and I will be ready to have my Sleeping Beauties (Frozen embryos) back.
So how do I feel… sad yes very sad, am mourning the loss of my embies, I fell deeply in love with them… still crying as I write this… My hubby has been the most amazing person to me through this, he has smothered me with Love, cuddles and wipes away my tears. He reminds me that we are a team, in it together forever, we both believe in that God is in control. Once I am treated properly for something that had been missed up un till now, hubby and I are still on track to become parents. I am thankful for my faith and belief. I may feel emotions and cry but I am a believer… I wont sink into despair or fear. I BELIEVE…